A Note from the Author:
Believe it or not, I actually originally wrote the first draft of this article on February 7, 2020.
Yep…you read that correctly…right before the world shut down.
Our team went along with reviewing and editing the piece internally, thinking we would be back to our normal lives by Easter.
Well as we all know, that was not what happened.
But because of the unbelievable dedication and hard work of medical professionals around our planet, we can FINALLY start daydreaming and planning for in-person events again!
While the last year and a half has been difficult (to say the least) for everyone, my fellow introverts may find the idea of attending a networking event more overwhelming now than ever.
So, without further ado, I hope this post is still helpful in an almost post-pandemic world, that we would be able to attend in-person events very soon, and that those events would be fruitful in fostering new professional partnerships and friendships!
How to Successfully Network as an Introvert
We all know the dreaded request from a boss: “Hey, would you mind going to [insert work event you don’t want to go to here] for me?”
If you’re not in a c-suite or sales position, it may not be a weekly experience for you to attend a networking event for work. (Or, you may be an executive or salesperson that still dreads the experience!)
So, what should you do when you don’t have a lot of exposure to networking? How do you get the most out of a mandatory event for work? What does it look like to be successful at networking when you are an introvert?
Below, I will share a few different steps I (an introvert) have used to help me learn to enjoy, and even sometimes look forward to, networking!
Check Your Mindset
When was the last time you had a good attitude about doing something you “had” to do? Probably never, I’m guessing.
It might sound a little obvious, but the best way you can start to approach a networking opportunity is by changing the way you view it. As a resident introvert myself, I would say that most human/social interactions naturally sort of wear me out. It isn’t that I don’t like other people, that I don’t find them interesting, or that I don’t want to learn more about them. Simply put, having to “be social” can make me tired – it is just how I’m wired.
So, I started to change the way I view networking events.
- Instead of thinking about how many people I will have to talk to, I think about all the stories I am going to learn.
- Instead of focusing on exactly what I am going to say, I imagine all the companies that will benefit from getting to meet me and learn more about the awesome team I get to work with every day.
- Instead of contemplating if I really HAVE to go to the event, I realize that I GET to hear straight from potential clients about their real problems, and help them start to brainstorm solutions. I GET to hear an inspirational story from a speaker or teacher that has walked a path that I have yet to experience or am currently going through. I GET to connect with other human beings to make the world we live in just a little bit better.
Now that is a pretty sweet deal for just two hours out of a weekday evening or a couple-day conference.
Do Your Research
This is probably one of the biggest reasons people feel like they fail when it comes to networking. They walk into a big conference room or restaurant, and it seems like everyone else already knows each other.
Sometimes, depending on the event, this might be true. But there are always new faces, new experiences, new job titles, and new developments. So how do great networkers keep their cool in a new environment? They do their research.
Before you go to a networking event, find out as much as you can about everything to do with said event. And I’m talking about more than just the people. Here’s a list of topics that you can research before your next event to ensure you never feel left out again:
- The host
- Why are they putting this event on? What is the end goal? Who are the big players? (You wouldn’t walk into a casual party at someone’s house without knowing the homeowners, would you?)
- The event space
- Is there some sort of interesting history behind the building or the area it is located in?
- For example: one of our awesome clients, Vue Columbus, is located in the Brewery District in downtown Columbus. Did you know that in the middle of this neighborhood, there is a larger than life statue of King Gambrinus, the patron saint of beer? Talk about an interesting lead-in to start a conversation!
- The city
- If it is your home city, this is an easy one. Just pocket 2-3 of your favorite facts or stories about your neck of the woods.
- If you are just visiting, find out a few different details about the history or current happenings going on and be prepared to ask some questions about them.
Ask Questions
Normally, when I talk to people about why they don’t like to network, or they think they aren’t good at it, they tell me: “I just don’t know what I would talk about,” which is fair.
I think most of us tend to go on the protective side when it comes to just willingly sharing information about our lives. But mostly, it is because no one actually asked us.
So, from now on, YOU are the ultimate question asker.
According to a great article from CNBC about a study at Harvard, “When people are instructed to ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation and care.”
Think about it – when someone asks you a genuine question, you get a little more excited about sharing the information, don’t you?
The article also followed up with some great tips on what types of questions you should have in your back pocket, and how to use them effectively.
Keep Learning!
The last recommendation I have for the aspiring introverted networker is to never stop learning! There is a lot we all can gain from reading and listening to the wisdom of true extroverts in business. So, here are a few books I have read throughout the years that either directly correlate to networking, or just help with communication skills in general…
- How to Work a Room by Susan RoAne
This is a great starter for anyone who is just beginning in the world of networking. If you’re just looking for the quick basics, this is where I recommend you start. - Eat That Frog! by Brian Tracy
This book teaches you how to stop procrastinating and prioritize your day to be as efficient as possible. What I mostly gained from reading this is how to prioritize and actually complete the things that seem too difficult or overwhelming for your day. - No Ego by Cy Wakeman
A fantastic read for current and aspiring leaders to learn how to recognize their egos, set them aside, and make the most out of every social interaction. - The Modern Enneagram by Kacie Berghoef and Melanie Bell
So before you read this book, I recommend fronting the $12 and just take the real Enneagram test. DO NOT self assign your number. It won’t actually help you learn and grow. Once you take the test and determine what your dominant number is, this book helps explain how to not let your communication faults hold you back in life and in the workplace. It helps you determine what parts of your number are most accurate to you, and gives real life examples of how to use your Enneagram number to take your communication skills to the next level, instead of letting it define you and hold you back. - Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
This focuses on the follow-up after a networking event. He shares his tips and tricks for not just creating new business opportunities, but also for creating long standing professional relationships with current and new colleagues. This is a great book to help bring humanity back into the corporate world of networking.
We’re In This Together!
I hope the tips shared in this article will help inspire and encourage you to break past the “introvert” stereotypes. Remember – the whole reason networking exists is to bring people together and create new valuable relationships.
Check your mindset, do your research, ask questions, and never stop learning!
